Picture the scene: you are walking – no, striding – through the park with a metal briefcase in your hand. It’s the kind of case that, were this an international thriller, would be handcuffed to your wrist and filled with either stacks of cash or perplexing, gunmetal-coloured machine parts set into foam.
You arrive at your destination, which is the scrubby bit of the park where barbecues are permitted. This is no accident. Deftly, you pop open your briefcase.
To the surprise and wonder of the people around you, there’s a barbecue inside. Probably, at this point, you make some kind of barbecue-related pun. I can’t think what that would be right now, but perhaps it’ll come to you in the moment.
You get some burgers and buns – wait. Out of where? Do you have a second metal briefcase filled with food and grilling accessories? Because a picnic basket in your other hand is really going to spoil the look. Okay, let’s imagine that you do. And also some charcoal and firelighters. And extremely strong arms to carry all of this stuff.
But anyway, once all of that is sorted, you are grilling – out of a briefcase. Even the people playing frisbee have stopped to gawk.
If you want this to become a reality, the Kikkerland Folding Portable BBQ Grill Suitcase (for that is its name) is available to buy from Beaumonde for £85. It weighs 1.8kg and its dimensions are 31.4 x 8.6 x 16.5cm.
It can grill for two and will catch ash in the bottom of the case. There aren’t more details than this but – hey, it’s a barbecue in a briefcase, so the selling point is clear.
However, we have questions. Many questions. For example, presumably the entire briefcase-barbecue gets as hot as the surface of the sun. So, how long does it take before you can pick it up again and carry it home?
Will you be sitting alone in the park, long after everyone else has gone, waiting for the handles of your barbecue-briefcase to cool down enough that you can touch them? Are you going to be able to keep up your suave demeanour for all of that time?
Also, when you walk home, will you be leaving a trail of ash behind you? How much does a metal barbecue-briefcase smell once you’ve cooked on it? Will people be asking: who is that mysterious spy-type-person and why does their briefcase smell of fire and hotdogs?
There’s only way way to answer these questions. But if you’re looking for a more traditional barbecue experience and you’re not sure which type of grill you want, read our article on which type of barbecue you should buy. Already got your BBQ sorted? Check out our grilling hacks.